between the drinks and subtle things; through the holes in my apologies

Why do we, as women, allow the opposite sex to define our self-worth? Why do we surround ourselves with people who tear us down as opposed to build us up? And why do people feel the need to put other people down in order to make themselves feel better?

quote by me. apparently I made quite a splash on faceyspace this weekend after posting this because my monologue made its rounds on various status updates, both admirable and put-downish.

We all know that my motto is Why Do We All Have Differing Opinions If Not To Share Them? But I see a huge difference in a differing opinion and being downright mean. A bully, if you will. Maybe its because I am naturally friendly but I have serious issues with people being just plain mean. There is no reason for it. Voice your opinion, but what is the point in saying something specifically designed for no other intention than to hurt another human being?

I posted this quote on fb in response to a conversation I had with my best friend.  Best friend, we’ll call her B for anonymity sake, broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years at some point over the course of summer and fall. This breakup had been a long time coming, and quite honestly I can’t even pinpoint a date when they actually broke up for good because for a while it had been an on again off again kind of deal. Both parties truly did love each other, however they made each other crazy both purposefully and accidentally. B hasn’t had the best track record with boyfriends, however I would have called the latest one the best of the bunch so far, even gone so far as to say that I can picture down the road them getting back together and in a more mature state in their lives, getting married and living happily ever after. I truly thought for a while that he was the best thing to ever happen to her. That is, until he said it.

B’s ex is now involved with a new girl. They have been dating some considerable amount of time, 3-4 months – and from the exterior she seems like a great girl and I was trying to be happy for him moving on and blah blah blah but turns out she talks shit about B and doesnt even know her so that bitch can fall in a pit of cow manure for all I care. The other night, the ex told B that he is still in love with her, that he is the best thing that ever happened to her, and asked her if she would date him again should things fall through with him and new girl.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR

What on god’s green earth makes men think it is alright to request that we wait around to see if their new fling will work out, sit on the bench and just wait for them? Waiting around for a man is only acceptable in two situations – if they are in a time of grieving and you are NOT going to be the girl that jumps on a widower like its Black Friday at Walmart; and if they are active military. It is downright disrespectful for someone to even consider making a girl monitor the sidelines while they “see if it works out” with so-and-so. What woman in their right mind is okay with being told You Are My Second Choice?

If you want me, and you mean it – not just want me on the side, want me in your life as a serious thing — you want me now. Not later.

Now, after all that, I can truly say that maybe her ex was the best thing that ever happened to her – because after that lowdown dog move he pulled, she knows that she cannot allow her self worth be defined by a man.

Standing on a street corner waiting for my love to change.

Amen, John Waters.

I have been laid up in my bed for a day and a half, after throwing my back out STANDING ABSOLUTELY STILL DOING NOTHING. Ain’t life grand? So, this is an affliction that has been chasing me for 5 years – every once and a while my femoral head dislocates (essentially – my hip bone) and I am in screaming pain any time I try to move until I get to see God (aka the chiropractor) and they fix it. Then I have about 24 hours of laying around doing nothing except ice bags every other 15 minutes and rubbing biofreeze EVERYWHERE. What this diatribe is meant to express is, I had a lot of extra time on my hands today.

So What did I do With That Extra Time?

Watched a Law and Order Marathon on the USA network, of course. And read. I actually re-read and entire novel today that took me 3 weeks to read the first time through. Anthropology of an American Girl by Hilary Thayer Hamann. I absolutely love this novel, and I am now considering it my bible. I recommend that every girl read this book at age 15, again at 18, 23, 25, 31, and so on. I am a firm believer in the idea represent in Catcher in the Rye that every time you view something, read something, experience something, etc – you see it through a different lens than the last time you did whatever it was, depending on the roads you have taken and events that have happened in your life – and this books is a prime example. Women will always have a very strong reaction to this book, however depending on what stage of your life you are in you are going to take different things from it.

“This ambitious work explores the sexual and intellectual awakening of a young American woman struggling to remain true to herelf as she encounters love, passion, and death amid the challenges and heartbreaks of growing up.”

This is how the books website itself describes it. This is all very accurate, however AOAAG is so much more than that. It is coming-of-age novel that explores not only the trials and tribulations of growing up, but the effect your life choices have on everyone else around you – or the non-effect that is simply heartbreaking. It looks at the relationships between generations, as well as the difference between a school age friendship//adult friendship, and what it takes for a young girls crush to develop into mature love. Also the weights and measures put on ones soul when deciding whether to do the right thing, the smart thing, the easy thing, or to follow the path your heartstrings lead you down – and neither of these things follow the same guidelines.

Evie has to constantly reinvent herself and her outlook on the world just so simply exist and also to not make a huge hypocrite out of herself and her life. It truly examines the coming of age process on a whole new level.

SO! Buy it, read it. Re read it. Make sure you have some tissues, and a highlighter. Maybe some post-it bookmarks. And then comment below and tell me what you think. I enjoy other peoples opinions – why would we all have differing opinions if not to share them?

a brief bio

these are briefs

and this is a bio:

24 years old, femme queer woman.

I do Project Management for a major retail corporation and therefore I live in hotels

throughout New England 10 months a year.

I have a couple of very close very important friends, and

if someone does something to piss them off, it is buyer beware. Mama Bear will attack.

I am an oldschool book worm. I received one of those e-readers for Christmas last

year, but I can’t get past the amazing-ness of an actual novel. The smell, the weight,

being able to judge my progress with the creases in the binding.

I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I am registered

Republican so that I may vote in the primaries, and I have to weight

the importance of my civil liberties against the importance of not being raped

by the government in every paycheck. Also I wish to retire one day and

I can’t fund a 401K if I’m paying out the ass in taxes.

I will hang out with anyone who is willing to ride around in a car on

a sunny day, and put up with my constant karaoke.